and i missed you, everywhere i went.

and i wont say a word, to beget indifference.

its always painful, so i resolved not to slip and fall again.

its hard on the knees.

the breeze the rhythmic laps and the night sky

the soft sands whispered a forced forgotten memory

that ran along the rickety bridge.

so if you've decided to turn back to a long lost face,

at least let me know.

i need to forget. but i cant.

i cant pretend you dont affect me,

every. little. thing. you. do.
=/

and so here's 19th, knocking so gently on my door.
the ending days of teenage.
and all the angst, the rough waves along with it.

celebrations daily, is something ive to thank God for.
optimistic, or maybe just learning ot appreciate the larger picture and not let lil things ruin my mood/day.
so yes ive come to accomodate lateness, and be pleasantly surprised by lil things.

unexpected, even last min bday celebration dinners.
but i learn to make gd use of my time, be more flexible.
thank you for celebrating, it meant alot to me. :)
esp the A&A, the balloon, the dinner treat.
Swing should send me pics soon!
happy bday too, LF :)
may the lord shower upon you greater wisdom, peace, strength and love for Him, for people ard you.

<3

how can you just breathe easy like everything's ok?

teach me.
cos im in chaos.

"不要为自己的不完美而哭泣”。

她那一句话，使我在毫无防备下，
黯然神伤。

我们常常听别人说这句话，单谈何容易。
人，会为着自己的不足而落泪，正是因为其他人在他们不完美时，无法包容，反而加重伤害。
讽刺在于－
往往告诉你要接受自己的人， 是在你显露自己的缺点时，最无法接纳，包容，原谅你的人。

i was upset just now,
thinking about how well. other people always seemed to get things going so smoothly for them.
they get what they want, they seem successful.
yet, somehow we christians are suffering, or at the losing end of things.

and reading about Acts 12:20-24, vs Acts 14:11-15,
i thank God for the understanding He's given me.
these two passages contrast how Herod reacted when people called him God,
vs Paul and Barnabas's reactions.
one was glorifying self, basking in it without giving God the glory.
the other was in full terror and panick, as they denied and insisted glory be given to God.

Herod was struck by the Lord; the apostles were aided by Him everywhere they went.
the focus is on God, and all glory should be His.
when i learn, to shift my perspective away from material pursuits and success as the focus,
and turn it towards glorifying God by giving my best in everything i do, that's when i truly change.
stop looking at the things on earth, but look to the eternal.
i am but a mist that appears for a lil while, then disappears.

learning to spot my emo come-ons,
and avoid talking to people or posting or reading anything that will overrun feelings.
that should help, slowly.

time to focus.
i realise i need to regain my focus in life.
lost it for a while, and it was painful drifting.
but now.
realign priorities.

Uni- i need to read up/work hard/be motivated.
let glorifying God be my source of motivation in all that i do.
You work hardest to please that centre of your life, and let Him be proud of what you do.

Music/song- regain that passion's not easy.
but really, thank God for the Angels. they help me find back my love for song, singing.
and now im taking up the piano scores again. not easy but i MUST persevere.

Friends- a constant reminder to myself: dont always demand of people.
learn to give. God gives us enough joy and peace to spread to others!
do good if i can, why not? strive to make someone's day different, everyday.

And, some time for myself, to reflect, to confess, and to grow.